Strange happenings
by horrible banana
Summary: AU. Our darling hero, Inuyasha, is plunged into a dark pit of love, betrayl and ... the fine art of crossdressing..


AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... choo.. ahem. This story may be a bit random. Beh.. read at your own risk..

"Disclaimer":

Pisang: I OWN INUYAHSA!

Voices in my head: No you don't...

Pisang: Who are you?

Voices in my head: Pancakes...

crunch gobble slurp

Pisang: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I OWN INUYAHSA!

Oh.. yeah.. I do not own Girl from the Sea...And I hope I never will.. urgh...

* * *

There was once a ramen obsessed, arrogant cutie pie named Inuyasha.

He had a beautiful girlfriend named Kikyo.

They were such a perfect couple that the townsfolk graffiti _"Kikyo + Inu!"_ everywhere.

Inuyasha was quite proud of this achievement and promptly invited his lecherous and imaginary friend to come and see.

As Inu and Miroku toured the streets, they came across an odd message… it read… _"Kikyo + Hojo TRUE LOVE!"_

Inuyasha looked at it and laughed.

That guy's name was spelt funny…

Miroku coughed in response.

Inuyasha studied the writing more carefully. Something clicked.

After standing stupidly for three seconds, Inu finally got the message and rushed off.

He was heartbroken.

He was angry.

He was on a mission to kill…

… And he was hungry.

* * *

Kikyo and Hojo had eloped to somewhere up north. They drank warm beer and danced in furry clothes every night.

Inuyasha tracked them; his powerful, doggy nose picking up their drunken scent.

Finally, Inu knew it was time. He took out an axe…

… and chopped down a branch and sharpened it into a spear...

… and impaled some marshmallows on it…

… He had a good meal that night.

* * *

When he woke up, Inuyasha's vengeful thoughts were subdued and he went to live in a small hut in the South of France.

One day, he decided to take a fishing trip.

In the blue expanse of the Mediterranean ocean, he met the gorgeous and bossy Leleè.

But unfortunately for Inu, she was frolicking with a crippled and handsome boy named Beau.

Suddenly, the sight of the two sent his blood boiling and vowed to kill both Kikyo and Hojo.

He'd do that as soon he went for a quick pee.

* * *

Kikyo and Hojo on the other hand had gotten bored with the north and decided to move to England, Land of the giant rats they had been told.

As Inuyasha emerged heroically from the sea, dripping wet, he was greeted by customs. After being kept in quarantine for half a day because he was in possession of animal products, Inuyasha was allowed to go out and watch the ships sail off.

In the corner of his eye, Inu spotted a pastry stand…

… He hurried over, hoping to chat up the seller of the pasties and get some free stuff…

… hopefully the stand; he was in need of one of them, his revenge tactic wouldn't work without it.

Then he realised the seller was male.

* * *

Inuyasha crept from the toilets wearing a huge and frilly red dress. He had gotten a seamstress to change his haori a little bit…

Out of the blue, Inu sensed his ex and her buddy; sniffing the air again, he found out that they were holding tickets to go to … the big rat country. He needed to hurry up and GET THAT STAND!

This situation called for drastic measures.

Inuyasha bravely ran forth and planted a sloppy kiss on the pastry seller. He was too overcome by shock to react. Valiant Inu grabbed the stand and sat down on a nearby bench, whistling quietly, and impatiently waiting for the next boat to England.

The pastry seller was winking at him…

… suggestively.

* * *

Inuyasha's long silver hair was violently blown about in the strong gusts of wind. His new crimson dress fluttered incessantly, occasionally flashing unfortunate passer-bys.

Inu was tired of this monotonous trip.

He grabbed his precious stand, tipped it upside-down and jumped in.

The image of a hanyou travelling in a rectangular box receded into the horizon, trailing another boat.

* * *

Inu tumbled onto the deck of _"Maria The Smelly"_

It lived up to its name.

Inuyasha stumbled around the floor, holding the stand.

* * *

Hojo pushed Kikyo out through the tiny window.

Her butt was a bit too big and she needed some help.

Hojo was on the verge of getting a nosebleed nudge nudge, wink wink

The cleaner banged at the door, screaming.

The two lovers had been caught snogging in the bathroom.

Hojo had squeezed through the minute opening and he and Kikyo wandered aimlessly on the top deck.

Abruptly, Kikyo stopped.

She gasped.

In a shadowy corner was…

… … … … A PASTRY STAND!

A rather falsetto voice was heard muttering about her dress.

"OH! And sea stains take an AGE to wash out. What WAS I thinking? Rushing into the water like that. I must've been drunk or something…"

The couple timidly sidled towards the pastry stand.

Rapidly, the muttering person whipped around flashing a smile.

"Aaaaah! My first customers!"

Kikyo ordered a pie, while Hojo tried to get some sausage roll, but was handed a chunk of wood with many pieces of glass embedded in it.

The lady with the big red dress watched eagerly as Kikyo ate the pie.

Gobbling it down like a starved pig.

Suddenly, Inuyasha started cackling evilly.

"Now you shall writhe in pain as the acid in that food slowly dissolves your insides!"

Kikyo stood there, puzzled.

Hojo looked at his watch and tapped his foot impatiently.

Five minutes of tense silence enshrouded the little group.

Nothing happened.

Ahem

Inu coughed and twiddled his thumbs.

He scratched his head in bewilderment… and embarrassment…

"Well… I'll just… go… now. Sorry for… keeping you… waiting…"

Inuyasha sprung from the wooden floor and into the sea; grumbling about the sea's effect on his nice, clean dress.

What a lovely lady Hojo muttered.

* * *

Inuyasha swam to the safety of a nearby island.

Seeking refuge from the sun, the surf…

...and the stains…

On the shore, he met the most dazzling girl he had ever laid eyes on…

… Sequins all over her clothes.

Her name was Kagome.

* * *

Back on the ship, Hojo was about to make a big announcement.

Kikyo, I have something really important to say… I think you should sit down…

'Oh my! HE'S GOING TO PREPOSE!'

"Kikyo, my darling, I must confess….

I am gay…"

Silence

While Hojo wandered off with Kamatari, Kikyo wallowed in depression. She drifted in the sea, hoping she'd find a place of salvation.

And she did.

The Island of Sparkly-ness.

Sequins everywhere.

And who did she spy, walking off into the sunset, but her sweet Inuyasha….

… with a female figure!

Kikyo was shocked.

An islander had jolted her with some static electricity.

And in her jumbled, sad little state, Kikyo's nerves just couldn't handle the situation.

Static made her mad.

The rest of her days, she spent idly paddling in the water or mooning happy couples.

She ate pie till she died and everyone was happy.

* * *

Back up voices: You don't own Inuyasha...

Pisang: I could do with another meal...

Silence

Pisang: Heh heh heh...

Did anyone laugh?.. I hope so.. or else Pisang will be very sad...

...and hungry...

MmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm... everyone looks so juicy...

...especially when they don't review... hint


End file.
